Does Trying to Conceive Affect Couples' Satisfaction in the Bedroom?

Anyone who has struggled getting pregnant knows that infertility takes a toll on relationships.

New scientific research in the last ten years has provided a better understanding of the complexity of female sexual response.The sexual response cycle is one model of emotional and physical changes that occur when engaging in sexual activity. There are four phases of the sexual response cycle, desire (libido), arousal, orgasm, and resolution. Both women and men experience and go through these phases, but the timing may be different.


Female sexuality compromises psychosocial, hormonal, neurologic, and vascular processes. Recurrent sexual complaints that cause personal distress or strain your relationship with your partner are known medically as sexual dysfunction. Life stressors, such as those related to medical illness and relationships, are important to address when evaluating a woman with sexual dysfunction.


 Identifying specific risk factors is the first step in fixing your sex life.

Risk factors:

  • Fertility problem-stress
  • Marital conflict
  • Sexual self-esteem
  • Sexual dissatisfaction
  • Frequency of intercourse
  • Lack of desire



Surveys show that 40 percent of women overall experience one or more of the factors above, regardless of whether they are trying to conceive or not. Although, for women, stress relating to infertility had a significantly larger impact on their sense of sexual identity than any other source of stress. 


Trying to conceive and being unsuccessful can drain the pleasure out of the bedroom, making sex feel like a chore. Infertility is a socio-medical problem that affects couples all over the globe. 


Infertility has been associated with a significant psychosocial impact. A ​​study from Stanford University  shows that 90 percent of infertile women suffered from sexual problems causing them distress, compared with only 26 percent of the control group of healthy women.


Sexual complaints are common among women with infertility issues. Many women struggling with infertility reported that infertility leads to stress, depression, anxiety, and even viewing sex like a chore, which leads to less frequent sex. 


When struggling to conceive, sex can easily stop being a reliable source of relaxation and escape and becomes a new source of stress. 


Many experts recommend exercise. Exercise is known to be a natural tool in helping improve sex life amongst individuals. Try going for a hike or a walk with your partner. Clear your head and get some fresh air together. Image courtesy of everydayhealth.com.
Many experts recommend exercise. Exercise is known to be a natural tool in helping improve sex life amongst individuals. Try going for a hike or a walk with your partner. Clear your head and get some fresh air together. Image courtesy of everydayhealth.com


Disruption of any component can affect sexual desire, arousal or satisfaction, and treatment often involves more than one approach. The downside of this all is that focusing on sexual performance can lead to anxiety. However, if you follow the suggestions below, some simple changes can help reduce anxiety, improve desire, and enhance your relationship with your partner.


Talk it out

Try to sit down and talk with your partner about your sex life. Many couples reported that talking it out forced them to disclose why they were struggling in bed and what they both needed from each other. 

If there is issues related to you and your partner’s sex life, the best thing to do is to bring this up to your partner. Open communication will improve both of your understandings and make your relationship stronger. 

Discuss each others sex fantasies and learn more about what you each like. 

If couples are not communicating with one another, it can lead to a disconnection of intimacy and even sexual avoidance. 

If trying to talk it out doesn’t help, you may want to consider speaking to a professional like a sex therapist for advice. Sex therapy can assist with any intimacy issues, relationship problems, or the lack of desire in couples. 


Sometimes, improving your sex life means clearing your schedule. Take the day off of errands and spend the day in bed together. Image courtesy of everydayhealth.com.
Sometimes, improving your sex life means clearing your schedule. Take the day off of errands and spend the day in bed together. Image courtesy of everydayhealth.com

Try something new

Get out of your comfort zone and explore new things with your partner. Discuss some kinks and desires you each would like to explore. Try out some new sex positions to increase intimacy. Sexual pleasure thrives when in an environment of excitement and passion. It is even beneficial to try something new together outside of the bedroom. Try out a new sport together, go to a new restaurant in town, or cook a meal together. The excitement of doing a new activity together as a couple can carry into the bedroom.


Physical affection 

Remember to maintain physical affection with your partner. Kissing and cuddling is essential for having a strong emotional and physical bond with each other. Start off with social touching, such as touching or holding their hand. Then try to touch your partner more, as attraction grows, you’ll begin to notice your partner becoming more comfortable. Remind your partner of what you love about them, physical affirmations are much needed in relationships. 

Slow things down

Slow things down and focus on foreplay. Making foreplay last longer can dramatically improve the sexual experience for both you and your partner. This is your time to explore new techniques and turn ons for each other. Stop living your life by a tight schedule and slow it down, allowing time for you and your partner to get in the mood. Focus on the connection between you and your partner together and the pleasure will come naturally. 


Take a break

Sometimes everyone needs some time alone. Get yourself in the right headspace and take a long bath or go for a short walk. Exercising is a great way to relieve stress and increase stamina. Time alone will allow you to reflect on your wants and needs. Try meditating or revisit a favorite hobby to ease your mind. Start a new novel, reading is a well-known stress reliever. After you relax and take a break for yourself, then spend some time connecting with your partner. 

Re-explore your relationship and get to know each other better. Cuddle in bed under the sheets together, it will make you and your partner feel closer to one another. Cuddling also heightens the sense of intimacy. Image courtesy of webmd.com.
Re-explore your relationship and get to know each other better. Cuddle in bed under the sheets together, it will make you and your partner feel closer to one another. Cuddling also heightens the sense of intimacy. Image courtesy of webmd.com.


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