Struggling to get pregnant comes with a wide range of emotions—sadness, anxiety, frustration, and hopelessness, just to name a few. To say it’s difficult would be an understatement. But just when you think it can’t get any harder, you get a text from your friend: she’s pregnant.
As humans, we experience different feelings simultaneously, and when those feelings contradict one another, things can get confusing. Take, for instance, the situation we’ve outlined above. On one end of the spectrum, you’re happy for her. She’s always wanted to be a mom, and she finally gets to make that happen. But on the other end of the spectrum, there’s that little green monster inside of you screaming—you’re jealous and maybe even a little angry at her. This is what’s called baby envy.
In this article, we’ll give you a guide to baby envy and how to deal with it. Keep reading for:
We live in an age where technology is more advanced, not to mention more prominent, than ever before. With social media like Facebook and Instagram, we’re able to stay up-to-date on each other’s lives, for better or for worse. For instance, Facebook is great for staying in touch or wishing happy birthday to an old friend. But it’s not so great when you’re undergoing treatment for infertility and every other post on your feed is a pregnancy announcement or pictures of someone’s newborn.
It’s perfectly normal to feel envious of a friend (or a mere acquaintance) when they announce they’re expecting. In a way, this reaction is simply indicative of how much you want a baby yourself.
Depending on where you are in your life, you might be experiencing baby mania in your social circle. It’s important to remember that while it’s okay to feel conflicted about your friends’ good news, you shouldn’t let negative emotions get the best of you. If you can’t bring yourself to feel happy for them, still try to pass on positive wishes.
Unfortunately, there’s no magic word or straight-forward answer to make baby envy go away. But don’t forget that this a common experience, and you will get through it.
At the end of the day, it’s important to remind yourself that being human means having emotions—which can feel like a burden sometimes. Feeling baby envy doesn’t mean you aren’t a good friend, and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.
Infertility comes with many, many trials, both physical and emotional. Make sure to put your own well-being above everything else, even if that means taking some time off from social events or going on Facebook.